It’s no secret that when our lives are filled with drama we struggle with pretty much everything. We tend to not manage time efficiently, our decision making skills suffer, and we begin to lack confidence and positivity.
Let’s talk about two things:
The first thing you need to do when working to minimize that drama in your life is to identify it. This is a two-step process.
Sit down and think of everything that causes stress and feels like unnecessary drama. The easiest way to do this is to go through your day in your mind. When you drop the kids off at school do you always end up chatting with the schools resident parent drama queen? When you call your sister-in-law are you overwhelmed by all the family gossip she wants to share? These are thing you put on the list. Then once you have the list take a few days and just add to it as things pop up. After 3 days, you should have a pretty good idea of where the drama is in your life.
Take your list and put it into 3 categories. The first one is STOP. Put things into the STOP category that you have control over and can stop exposing yourself to immediately. Then do exactly that. The second one is ͞tweak͟ and you will put things into this category that you will have to be exposed to however you can tweak how you approach it and reduce the amount of drama that comes from it. Remember the sister-in-law example? This is a good tweak drama. You can’t cut your sister-in-law out of your life but you can tweak the phone calls. Start by saying, ͞Hey, I only have a few minutes so let’s go over the plans for the family reunion͟ which gives the call and agenda and will hopefully keep the gossip to a minimum. Should this not work, you are going to have to take control by saying, ͞I have so much going on in my own little family that I prefer not to be stressed with the drama of gossip.͟ Plan and simple. And the final category is ͞stuck with͟ and in this category is drama that you have little control over. If your boss is a drama queen/king it’s hard to rid your life of them. So, that brings me to my next point.
Staying drama-free in a drama filled world. When we are exposed to drama, the physical and mental changes we endure can be substantial. Our blood pressure goes up, we communicate more defensively, and we let the exchange bother us long after the drama is over.
Minimize the effects of drama using these two techniques.
The first thing you need to do is remain calm. Our blood pressure rises and we become defensive because we don’t do a good enough job of staying calm. When faced with a drama filled experiences such as a meeting with your boss and colleagues that simply makes your blood boil try to breathe in order to achieve a level of calmness. Take a breath in slowly to the count of 1 -2 -3 -4 and hold it for 1 –2 – 3. Exhale to the count of seven. 1 –2 –3 –4 –5 –6 – 7.
Resist speaking unless asked a direct question. YES, I know you have something to say and that you disagree with most of what is being said in the room however if the likelihood of your idea or comment
being heard is zero than why bother. Make a note of it and discuss it privately with the appropriate people afterwards.
Leave the drama where it started. That means, once the exchange is over it’s over. It has no place in your life so don’t drag it there. This means that when you hang up from your sister in law you don’t call your cousin to tell her the gossip. It means when you walk out of that meeting that you don’t go back to your office and write an email to a colleague about your boss. It means when you go to bed at night that you should quietly make a list of all the goodness in your life and all your blessings and not rehash the drama of the day.
Ⓒ 2023 LOREN LAHAV • ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
