Tell me if this sounds familiar: You have a big dream that you want to accomplish. You think about it every day, you put it on your manifestation board and you can’t WAIT for it to happen.
So you GOYA and get to work. At first, you think, “Woohoo, I’m doing it!”
But then you log into Facebook and you see someone else who is doing exactly what you want to do … and they’re KILLING IT!
“I could never do that,” you start to think. Your confidence falls, your dream deflates and you give up.
Am I close? 🙂
I’ve been there many times in my life. I’ve looked at rock stars in the personal development world and compared myself to them. It makes me question my vision, what I bring to the table and if I’m good enough.
Here’s why this thinking is so flawed, and what you can do the next time you start doubting yourself:
1. Stop comparing your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 15.
When you see that person who is already doing exactly what you want to do, you’re seeing their Chapter 15. You don’t know their backstory. To you, it looks like they’ve always been on top, like they came out of the womb an expert in their field with a million Instagram followers.
But in reality, that person struggled in the beginning. They had the same self-doubt and insecurity that you have right now. And they probably weren’t very good at their craft, but they worked hard, stayed consistent and are now reaping the benefits.
Just like if you wanted to be a filmmaker, you probably wouldn’t compare your first short film to “Avatar,” don’t compare yourself to someone else who has been put in years and years of work to get where they are today.
2. Follow your own timeline.
Another reason why it’s so dangerous to compare yourself to other people is you start to think, “Look how much she’s accomplished and she’s younger than I am! I’m so far behind!”
The next time you think this, remind yourself that you have plenty of time! You are not behind, you are simply following your own path.
There are no rules in life that dictate what level of success you we should have at 30, 45 or 65. Any hangups you have about where you “should” be at your age are all in your head.
Success isn’t about when you reach the finish line. It’s about growing and getting better every day.
Do yourself a favor and free yourself from this trap. Tell yourself, “I’m exactly where I should be right now. I will accomplish my goals and I am getting closer to them every day!”
And remember, it’s NEVER too late to go after your dreams.
Many kickass women didn’t have success until they were in their 30s, 40s and 50s, like Kerry Washington, Vivienne Westwood and Julia Child, just to name a few. (Julia Child didn’t even learn to cook until she was 36!)
3. Be kind to yourself.
It’s hard to put yourself out there and try something new. Give yourself kudos for the work you’re doing, and don’t get hung up on the outcome. Instead, fall in love with the effort. Enjoy what you’re doing and trust that the pieces will fall into place.
If that means that you need to lay off social media for a while, so be it! Not only is it tough to look at other people’s highlight reels, it can be destructive to get sucked into the endless search for “likes.”
Instead of always talking about your message on social media, just go out and live it! That will leave much more of an impact … and will feel a lot better, too!
4. Focus on your strengths and get help for the rest.
You don’t need to be good at everything. If you’re feeling insecure about a particular area, why not get help? Performing tasks that you don’t like to do and aren’t good at isn’t a good use of your time—and it won’t get you further or help you achieve your goals faster.
We all need people around us who are strong in areas where we are weak. One of my favorite personality tests to find out where you are strong and what path you should follow is Wealth Dynamics. It helps you identify if you are a Creator (me), a Star (Oprah), a Supporter, a Deal Maker, etc. There’s no way you can be all of these people, but you need all of them on your team. Take some of the weight off of your shoulders by finding people who can help where you need it the most.
5. Keep your momentum up.
Even if you do just a little bit every day, it’s important to keep working on your goals. Putting your project down will not only pause your progress, but it will be even harder to get moving again in the future—and that self-doubt will creep back in again.
Keep your momentum up, even when it’s summertime, your kids are home and the pool beckons.
How do you crush self-doubt in your life? How do keep going on your path, even when the insecurity sets in? Leave me a comment and let me know!
Now, go look in the mirror and say to yourself “I am a badass” five times … and own it! Then, get to work on crushing that dream of yours. 🙂