We all do it sometimes.
It’s hands down the number one thing you can do to crush your dreams: Compare yourself to other people.
I know, it’s hard not to! It’s human nature to stack ourselves up against our neighbors.
The woman on the bike next to you in Spin class makes you feel like you’re out of shape…
Your best friend has kids before you do, leaving you to question your life choices…
And you always have your eye on the best of the best in your field, wondering how you can get to the top.
I’m right there with you!
But the next time you see someone killing it at the gym and you start going down a comparison spiral … STOP and tell yourself these 5 things:
1. You don’t have to be “THE BEST.” You just have to be you!
Back in the hunter-gatherer days, we only had a few people in our community to compare ourselves to. To be the best hunter in the world, we only had to compete with about 20 other people.
Now, with social media, we can see the accomplishments of millions of people play out in real time. It’s now almost impossible to be the “best” at anything.
Accept this! You don’t have to be the best cook, the best yogi or the best party planner in the world. You have your own personal spice that you add to everything you do, and that is what makes it awesome!
Rid yourself of that idea of being “perfect” and just BE YOU.
2. Everyone feels this way. Even the people you’re comparing yourself to!
Sometimes it can feel like we’re all alone in our own little world, feeling like life is passing us by while everyone else is out there making it happen.
Remember that people present their best selves to the public. They post photos on Facebook of their Caribbean vacation and gush about all the great things happening in their life when you meet them for drinks.
But when you run into a friend you haven’t seen in a while and they ask how you are, do you dive into your biggest insecurities? Of course not. You usually respond with your own personal “highlight reel” and put a positive spin on your situation.
We’re all doing the same thing and we all have insecurities underneath it all.
3. We all have our own timeline. You are on time!
Do you freak out when another year passes and you “should” be further along than you are?
Many of us have this idea in our head that we should be in a certain place in our life by a certain age, and that if we’re not, that we are behind.
Just because someone else had a huge level of success at 35 doesn’t mean that you’re behind if you’re 45 and starting a new career.
Only you can say what the right path is for you. Shut out all the noise and follow your gut!
If you need more inspiration, don’t forget about all the people who achieved success later in life:
- Vera Wang didn’t start designing wedding dresses until she was 40.
- Joy Behar didn’t become a household name on The View until she was 54.
- And Katherine Bigelow won an Academy Award for directing The Hurt Locker at age 57.
No matter where you are, if you’re starting over in your career or your relationship, you’re right on time!
4. Innovation doesn’t happen by following other people. It happens when you do your own quirky thing!
It doesn’t matter what other people are doing. All that matters is that you are following YOUR dream.
You think Cheryl Strayed wrote her memoir Wild because that’s what her friends were doing? No! She wrote it because it was her dream to tell that story and her time to tell it.
Keep your eyes on your own paper. That’s when the real magic happens! 😉
5. Other people may be comparing themselves to you!
Hey, you’re pretty great, you know. 😉 Chances are, someone out there is comparing herself to you and feeling like she doesn’t measure up.
We are our own worst critics and sometimes it’s hard for us to see how great our own accomplishments are and how blessed we are in our lives.
Take a moment to think about what you are most proud of in your life and appreciate it! Instead of fixating on what you are not doing, celebrate everything that you’ve already done.
For fun, do this with a friend. Tell her everything about her that you think is amazing and have her do the same for you. Sometimes it takes a great friend to show us what is great about us before we believe it.
Thanks for joining me. I hope this post helps you STOP comparing yourself to other people once and for all!
Tell me: Is there something you tell yourself when you start going down a comparison rabbit hole?
Instead of comparing ourselves to other people, why not feel inspired by everything they are doing?
There’s no limit to the number of people who can succeed — we can all be living our dreams! So let’s go do it! 🙂